Warm-up

500 rope jumps
try to go unbroken

Workout -

5 sets of 5 chinups*
Rest 3-5 min between each set
*For those of you who can easily smoke 5 chinups, add weight.

4 sets of 8-12 BB biceps curls (med-heavy)
60-90s rest between each set

3 sets of 20 mid cable row 7/10
60-120s rest between each set

Post weights used and/or strings of consecutive reps to comments.



I wrote this years ago. I never had the balls to post it. This has changed.

Musings ... For MOST of us, heart rate training is stupid, and generally useless.

Listen up OTF. Gonna drop some knowledge on you! Your MAIN selling point is OLD technology! Like, it hit mainstream over 25 years ago. Training techniques have changed a LOT over the last quarter of a century. There are better ways now and BTW HR training was never that great to begin with. 

How do we know this? Because nobody is using it the way it was made to be used. 

When it was created, it was intended for very high level endurance athletes who were riding the razor's edge between increased fitness and a catastrophic meltdown. These were typically runners and cyclists who were putting in 4-8 hours per day on the road at a time. Since they were going so long day after day, they had to be sure the workout they did yesterday wouldn’t interfere with today’s long event. Push it too hard yesterday and can’t get the most out of  your session today. Go too slow today or yesterday and you lose the Tour de France! So, these guys had to come up with a way to measure output. Some smart guy somewhere figured we could watch an athlete's HR and it would tell the story. In general, he was right. And in THAT ONE REGARD, and in that ONE VERY SPECIFIC case, HR training is semi useful.

Problem is, then, some idiot got a hold of this very advanced technique of training and figured it would work for the rest of us. It was probably some tech geek that loves numbers and data and mistakenly believes you can train a body by the numbers, which is stupid. You can’t, yet. There are too many variables. Plus, it doesn’t apply to OUR SPECIFIC GOALS of general health!    

There are 2 other ways we know HR training is stupid and generally useless. 

  1. Listen to the people. Listen to the folks who have dropped the most weight, have gotten most fit, have transformed their bodies & minds and/or improved their health. To what do they, by and large, credit the most for their transformation? They’ll say willpower, dieting, daily balanced exercise and a litany of other things. Do you know what they don’t credit? Like AT ALL - EVER - HR training! 

  2. Watch what the semi-pros and endurance enthusiasts are doing. Even semi-pro cyclists and runners aren’t using HR training. Oh sure, they are all wearing HR monitors. It’s part of the uniform. Not wearing your HR monitor to a group endurance event would be tantamount to showing up in jeans. 

It’s the cyclists you want to watch most closely here. Those guys/gals are the biggest technoweenies in the world. If they find something that will give them the edge (titanium chichis, magic goo packets, aerodynamic spandex), they’ll be the first ones to frickin use it. No matter what the cost! 25 fuckin years ago, when HR training stormed onto the scene, they all ran (not walked) to bike shops, fists full of cash (like $300.00) to be the first of their biking buddies to order their own digital advantage over everyone else. Then they proceeded to plug in their magic numbers and train in their “HR training zone” like religious zealots. They faithfully clung to their “training zones” hoping that doing so would please the gods of fitness enough that they’d be blessed to crush their buddies up whatever legendary hill climb they got dropped on last year. How’d that turn out? Meh. It didn’t really work. But remember, it wasn’t really ever GOING TO. My 4 hours of riding per week was nowhere near as cutting edge as the 8 hours per day Lance was putting in and the technology was only useful in a very narrow category. 

 “Wait Neil! You’re wrong! All my biking buddies are still using their HR monitors!”

Nah, they’re really not. Oh, they’ve all got them, but they are just collecting data. Cyclists, and endurance athletes, LOVE their data. They aren’t using it for anything but to justify their suffering. Plus, if HR training was so helpful, so useful and so good, why did they buy the next thing? After HR monitors, they all bought clipless pedals. Then they bought cadence monitors. Then they bought power meters. Shit, if HR training was so damn useful why did you need all of that other stuff? 

You got it for the SAME reason you bought all that other stuff. Because some big name you admire (Lance) endorsed, or used it and it came with a cool techy piece of gear!       

Another reason HR training is stupid is because it’s REALLY hard to figure out YOUR SPECIFIC HR training zone! 

The thing to know about this is every one of us has different heart rates. This is problematic, because most of the formulas we use to calculate HR training zones are based on norms and averages. What if you aren’t normal or average? 

My buddy BC figures he’s at 80% of his output at around 146 bpm. He knows this because he uses his HR monitor every ride. Thing is, by all known formulas 146 BPM puts him at 50% of his PMHR. 50% for a ‘normal or average” person is an easy recovery ride, but BC is over the moon at 146 BPM. What gives? Well it turns out BC isn’t normal or average. For him to use his HR monitor he’s going to have to do a monitored cardiac stress test. This will have to happen at an accredited medical facility or sports lab. Hope you have the dough for that. Oh, then just know, the numbers they give you might change next year. By the way, almost EVERYONE I’ve ever done a “training zone” for had to be normalized. In other words, they had to adjust the zone based on their own individuality. 

Last reason HR training is stupid and mostly useless is because of that stupid “fat burning zone” mythology. 

There is no such thing as “the fat burning zone” as most people understand it. The way mainstream fitness taught the world about HR training zones was by promoting the myth that while you are in your HR target training zone of 50%-75% of PMHR you are burning all your fat off! While it is true that the FUEL you are using in that zone (if you can find it with medical help) is mainly fat, what they didn’t tell you is that just because you are using fat for fuel, it didn’t come off your thighs, or your belly, or your arms, or your backside. They lied to you by telling you it did. They did this to sell heart rate monitors, books, specialized treadmills and other stupid stuff. What they willfully neglected to tell you is that by burning calories through exercise your body loses weight and that it doesn’t matter what    calories your muscles use to fuel themselves. If your body uses fat, glucose or a combination of the two (which is what it is) your body will react the same way and you’ll end up looking exactly the same. This renders the “fat burning zone” a myth, at best. But Mostly, it was a lie. No, it’s worse than that. My dad always says, “Son, in the world of untruth, there are lies and DAMN LIES.” That “fat burning zone” shit, is a DAMN LIE!     

“But Neil, I really like the HR training zone function on my apple watch and stuff.” 

Fine, if you like it, use it. I mean, just because it doesn’t work half the time and you have to stop your workout for several mins at a time waiting for it to monitor your HR and put out a readout ... while you sit there ... waiting ... pushing buttons and shit doesn’t mean it’s not really helping you, does it? 

Look I like the info too. In fact, half the reason I don’t wear my monitors anymore is because I become obsessed with the data. To the point where data collection becomes the purpose of the workout for me. Once data collection takes precedence over getting a workout - I know it’s time to make changes. How can one know once data collection has taken precedence and has become problematic? Have you ever forgotten to turn on your device, and become depressed thinking, “Shit! That workout doesn’t even count, now?” 

When that happens or any of the above happens, I know I’m off the path. But, hey sometimes I can do it and sometimes I like it. If you like it and can stay on the path, cool. Liking shit is part of this process. I’m for ANYTHING that helps you move forward, friend. Just understand the limitations. Once you do, you are less likely to get caught in any of the pitfalls I outlined above. When you do this - WE ALL WIN!   

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